Fall to Pieces
by icefire-lioness
Summary: Written for a challenge on SAYS. Song is Matt Nathanson Fall to Pieces . Sirius wonders what 'last night' meant. And oh, what a loverly morning! Frank/Sirius.


AN: Written for a challenge on SAYS (JessiRose's Media Player Challenge) Hope you enjoy it! I've never written Frank at all before, let alone Frank/Sirius! Hope it works. It think it's possible they're both a bit out of character, but seeing as we never knew either of them when they were young, I guess I have poetic license. Right? Yeah. Good oh. :D Have fun!

-

_**So I wear you out...so who would've thought that you'd still be here now  
**_

Sirius was sitting in the Common Room, trying to do homework. There were quills across the desk, parchment screwed and strewed across the floor, the chairs, the desk, and various pieces of Sirius' anatomy. There was no way he could concentrate. Frank was lounging in a chair opposite, reading a book, and looking up every now and then to grin at Sirius. He couldn't….he couldn't….what was it? Think…what was it? He couldn't _concentrate_. He couldn't think. Damn Frank and his gorgeous grin.

_**  
And I swore dear that I never wanted to be any better than your weakest moment  
**_

Last night…last night. He couldn't get last night out of his head. One moment of weakness, and then _last night_ happened. He had liked Frank for a long time – he was smart and funny and had the sort of grin that made Sirius want to…want to…

It didn't matter. Anyway, last night probably hadn't meant anything to Frank. Sirius had tried for so long to get the other boy out of his head – had kissed girls and boys in cupboards around the school, looking for something, anything that could get his mind off the thing that he knew he couldn't have. Of course, it had all unravelled when Sirius realised that everyone he had taken to kissing had blonde feathery hair, brown eyes, a slightly turned up nose and a dimple in their left cheek (there were a surprising number of people at Hogwarts who fitted that those exact specifications).

He had taken to moping in the Common Room after that, and that was why last night had happened. And now Sirius wasn't sure if he was happy about it or not. Frank looked up and grinned at him again, the dimple in his left cheek very apparent. Sirius tried not to think what had happened with that dimple last night, and failed miserably.

_**  
Now would you fall to pieces if I never came back? Tear it all apart 'til there was nothing left, would you fall to pieces if I never came back...spent so long waiting here  
**_

Sirius looked down at his homework again, trying to concentrate on the essay question. _The Goblin War of 1523 to 1578 was one of the shortest and bloodiest in Goblin History. What made it so? _Sirius tapped his finger frustratedly on the parchment.

Tap, tap, tap. _What made it so?_

Tap, tap, tap. _What _made_ it so?_

Tap, tap, tap. _Is he looking over here?_

Tap, tap, tap._ Merlin, if he smiles at me one more time I'm going have to take drastic measures_.

Tap, tap, tap. _Is he…is he…Merlin, no, he _is_! Look away, look away, look away…don't look at him taking his jumper off…it is creepy and…really hot…_

Tappity tap, tap, tap, tap. _Stop it, Sirius; stop it…very creepy behaviour. You do not stare at boys when they take their jumpers off. You do not. You _are!

Sirius stood up quickly, pushing his chair back and walking out of the Common Room as fast as he could. He was breathing irregularly when he stopped, leaning his back against the stone wall next to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

_**  
This was all sweet once, when I was fingertips and innocence**_

Once upon a time, back when Sirius was a sweet little eleven year old, having a crush on someone was a completely different experience. It was all awkward blushes and touching of hands and saying things like 'would you like to be my boy/girlfriend?' and 'can I hold your hand? Are you ready for that step?'

Now, crushes were a sexual thing, or at least undercut by sexual tension, the emotional pull still there as well. Sirius couldn't even imagine being eleven any more, but the thing was, something was strange about this crush. It wasn't so much sexual as emotional, and although Sirius felt a constant need to touch Frank, it was more in that 'holding hands' way. He wanted to have a connection, that was all, and the only way Sirius knew how to connect with people was physically. __

_**And too scared to let go I had my arms thread through the pretty holes of your most romantic line  
**_

There was something about Frank that was different, and although Sirius couldn't put his finger on what exactly, it excited him, and he always seemed to want more. He just couldn't seem to let go of the _idea_ of Frank, and although he didn't really think it was idealism, perhaps it was. Perhaps he just wasn't good at letting go. Perhaps he just saw what he wanted to see, but Frank was perfect, perfect and whole and everything that Sirius wanted, although he wasn't sure what that _was_, exactly.

_**  
Would you fall to pieces if I never came back? Tear it all apart 'til there was nothing left, would you fall to pieces if I never came back…spent so long waiting here  
**_

Although they had had last night, Sirius didn't really think it had meant anything to Frank. Even if it had, it wasn't as big an anything as it was for Sirius, who was slowly beginning to think that 'crush' was not 'crush' and was actually something else. Something a lot bigger, something a lot scarier, something that Sirius had never experienced before in his entire seventeen years. If he pulled away all the layers of feeling, Sirius could see patterns, things he had never seen before. You don't notice the seven different smiles of someone you just want to snog in a cupboard. It's more than that, and Sirius didn't _like_ more. More was complicated, and complicated was…complicated was…not something Sirius dealt with very well. All he knew, anyway, was that he didn't want Frank to go. He wanted Frank to stay with him, to be his, all his, all for Sirius, and no-one else's. That was all he wanted, really, and surely that wasn't asking too much?

_**  
And I've watched them all move through you, yeah, I've watched them all let you down.  
**_

Having watched Frank for a long time, Sirius had seen all the lovers and horrors that Frank had been involved with. He had seen them let him down, seen them break him, seen them fold him, and all Sirius wanted was to comfort him, to tell him that nothing would ever hurt him again because Sirius would not let it. But, for once, Sirius didn't have the courage to tell Frank what he felt. And was it courage to open yourself to someone who you knew would accept you? It wasn't, really, because there was no chance of rejection. But Frank was so much more complicated, and Sirius' feelings were so much more complicated and there was a high chance – a very high chance – that Frank would reject him, and Sirius did not deal well with rejection. But chances – chances where what life was made up of. And you had to take chances or you would stay stagnant, and no-one wanted that.

_**  
It's do you, and don't you, cause I won't forget you, you filled me with nothing, it felt so good…it'll all come out some day**_

Sirius closed his eyes, and was just thinking about what he could say if he was to confess his feelings, when the portrait hole opened and Frank stepped out, looking around as if to check for someone. Sirius watched him hungrily, and made a noise as his feet shifted on the stone.

Frank looked over and spotted him, a grin breaking out on his face.

"Sirius! Wondered where you ran off to," he exclaimed, walking over.

Sirius lowered his head. No, he did _not_ need to know. Did he?

The other boy was still grinning. "What're you thinking about?" he asked, and Sirius swallowed. Now or never.

"Last night," he said, a little nervously. Frank's grin widened, and his dimple deepened. "And you."

Frank was smiling so widely that Sirius was slightly worried his head would split in half.

"No! Me too! Ever since it happened."

Sirius grinned involuntarily. It wasn't as though he had said it was in a good way though, was it? But Frank _was _grinning. That could hardly mean…

"You don't think it was a mistake, do you?" Frank asked, and his grin was fading slightly.

Sirius shook his head vigorously. A little too vigorously. He flushed and looked down at the floor. He wasn't _used_ to feeling like this. He was used to being in charge of the situation, being the one who was making the other feel nervous and slightly on edge, not the other way around! Frank grinned again, relaxing a little.

"So…you're ok with it?" Frank asked, gazing at Sirius. Sirius looked back at him, chewing his lip.

"Ok with it? Frank, it was bloody fantastic. I just…" he trailed off, looking at the floor again.

Somehow Frank was right up close to him, pushing him slightly against the wall with his body, looking up a little to be eye to eye, still smiling.

"Just…?" he whispered, and Sirius shivered a little as the word tickled his neck.

"I don't know what it meant to you," he said in a small voice. Frank's smile widened.

"What it meant? What did it mean to you, Sirius Black?"

Sirius gestured helplessly at the floor.

"Oh, I don't know. But it wasn't just a meaningless snog, you know? There was…something else, ok? Frank, I…I'm not good at this, yeah? You have to help me out a bit."

The other boy laughed low in his throat, and pushed Sirius further against the wall, kissing him roughly. He flicked his tongue out, sucking Sirius' lower lip into his mouth. Sirius moaned into the other boy's mouth, and Frank chuckled, which did something absolutely amazing in Sirius' mouth. They grabbed at each other, sliding hands up under shirts, running fingers along bare shoulders, teeth nipping and biting at necks, tongues, lips, shoulders.

Sirius pushed him roughly around, flipping him so that Sirius was holding Frank against the wall now, running his hands through Frank's hair, pushing him hard, his knee moving to part Frank's. The Fat Lady, who had just come back from visiting her friend, Violet, saw the two boys and exclaimed 'oh my!' before sitting down and watching them with no small amount of interest.

Sirius had just succeeded in taking Frank's shirt off when they both heard a loud 'oh!' and pulled apart, looking around for the source of the noise. Sirius dropped Frank's shirt on the floor, brushing loose hair out of his flushed face.

A tiny first year boy stood in front of them, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open. Sirius put his arm around Frank's waist, pulling the other boy to him with a grin. Frank glanced at him, grinning as well, and then they turned back to the little boy.

"You'd better go inside now," Sirius said, his eyes glinting with laughter.

"What's about to happen is really not suitable for a young child such as yourself, and I think we've already scarred you enough."

Frank pinched him in the side, and Sirius yelped. The first year boy scampered into the portrait hole, and before it swung shut, Sirius yelled after him, "you know, it's perfectly natural to be questioning your sexuality right now! I bet that's the hottest thing you'll ever see in your life!"

Frank laughed, and they both looked at each other again. Sirius rested his hands on Frank's slim hips, just watching the other boy.

"So, d'you think we're going to be all around the school tomorrow?" Sirius asked, his eyes sparkling.

Frank looked solemn. "No doubt, Sirius me lad, no doubt. An eleven year old boy will _never _be able to keep something so fantastically hot to himself. There'll be girls wanting pictures in no time."

Sirius kissed him on the nose. "Sounds fabulous, but I reserve all right to keep the negatives."


End file.
